Today, I think I did better at embodying humility. I even received “15-Modesty” in the I Ching tonight. However, I could still use more work. I realize that humility is perhaps something that I’ve always been somewhat striving for, but I tend to lean more towards the underselling of myself, beating myself up, and putting myself down.
Tonight, when listening to my roommate and hearing about his day, he mentioned that when he realized how much I’ve gone through to get where I am, that he thought about how “cool” I was. This made me smile, and I noticed a bit of pride or something creeping in that I don’t think is necessary. Ideally, I don’t think I would’ve smiled at all. There was certainly a part of me that was just happy to be “recognized”, but this shouldn’t matter. Recognition is fine, but I needn’t let myself get hung up on it. Though, once he said this, I noticed myself talking more about my ideas and how I see life, and things like that. There was a slight straying away from what I should’ve done, which is just continued being myself and stay humble.
At least I recognize this. It is a point of learning for me.
I learned today that humility is steady as well. It is not letting fame or recognition or power get to oneself. It is staying modest (which is next week’s characteristic). I think I’m getting better at being humble and really integrating humility into my life already, and I want to do this more. It is sort of liberating. If I can make humility an aspect of my character, not just an occurrence, then I no longer have to think about it really, but let it be a part of who I am. Though, maybe the battle will never end. Only time will tell.
I realized also that rarely do I meet people that are truly humble or embody humility, but I should look up to those I meet who do. I should also think more about the people in my life that do embody this, and how I can emulate them.
I guess, humility is also not being full of myself, but of the world. Of the Creative. Being a vehicle for good values and Life to fill, and not being full of my own desires and wants. Humility is being able to be silent when I feel the want to talk. It is realizing I am not the smartest person in the room. My ideas aren’t always clear. I will stutter upon words and slip upon ideas, but that is part of being human. I continue forth though, and try to improve myself. Humility is respect for those who embody the values I want to embody well. Humility is treating those who don’t with just as much respect.
I will, of course, continue this journal and practice. Not just tomorrow and this week, but every day for the rest of my life.