Here I am again, wondering about humility. Today was a great day for me to see how much I had to learn about humility. Surrounded by ways I could learn, I found myself becoming prideful when I was learning quickly and well. The same instant that I became prideful, the voice spoke again to me from inside my head: “Humility.”, it said. And I realized that I still had much to learn. I, in fact, wasn’t doing everything correctly. Concurrently, instead of being prideful about the things that I was doing right, I needed to instead continue forth learning and growing.
It is in this sense that humility allows us to accomplish great tasks. Things people don’t normally accomplish. Things that I most certainly have not accomplished yet. When I think about why this is, it seems like it’s because of the awareness of one’s faults and how growth can arise from this awareness. Humility instills within me this image constantly. Therefore I never feel the need to rest on my laurels, grow prideful, and then suffer a humiliating downfall. I’m already practicing humility. I know that I can fail if I don’t keep learning. Now, this is not to say I never have time for rest and enjoyment in the world, which seems to be the opposite I would most likely lean towards. It, instead, means that in my rest and enjoyment, I’m still furthering myself by actually enjoying life as it is, in a healthy manner.
This is hard to do. I find that my ego struggles against this to an incredible extent. It feels like it needs to be prideful, to show off. For some currently unknown reason, it does these things or at least feels the drive to do them. If I were more mindful, which I’m working towards every day, I would understand the reasons for this and therefore be able to work against it better. Even so, the ego will most likely never change. This battle that I’m going through now will probably always be there to some extent. Humility is realizing this, and calming the worry that comes with it. With humility as a foundation, my eyes are directed towards the truth and the present moment, and therefore able to change. Humility is not prideful, nor shameful. It is joyous, and perseveres.
I will continue to try and embody this.