Let me take a moment here to go over exactly why I want to do these journals.
It is perhaps most simply stated as a feeling of duty to myself to become this sort of person. The sort of person that embodies all of these values in a healthy way, and enjoys Life in its profound beauty and mystery. To be someone that can help shape the world in a kind and gentle way, while still being firm and strong within.
I chose humility as a starting point because I think it is necessary to achieve this goal and to fully understand the other characteristics I want to embody. There is first a requirement that I admit I am faulted. I am flawed. With there always being more I can do to grow myself, I accept my faults, I accept my failures. I also accept my achievements and my strengths. However, I do not go around waving any of these in everyone’s faces. Oftentimes, words should only be spoken after careful consideration. Silence is usually a more effective tool than its opposite. This, is what humility is. This is what it has shown me.
Even so, today I saw how much I still have to go on humility, and how much I will continue working on. Simply because this journal focused on humility changes to modesty tomorrow does not mean that I stop trying to be humble and practice humility. No, it means I begin to work increasingly on it, along with modesty.
So, as the humility journal begins to end, I carry the voice of humility into the following journals. It will comment, share, and inspire when the Spirit of Humility is present in my journals. This is, for me at least, a creative way to keep me engaged with practicing humility, and still continuing my journals about it.
Before I end this journal though, I think humility can be more fully embodied by doing a very powerful thing. That is, focusing on one’s own faults, not others’. Why do we spend so much time wailing and cursing others for their faults, when we so rarely take time to focus on our own? I find myself doing this very thing sometimes, and I ask myself the question of how this helps me at all. Am I not merely ignoring my own faults, placing my own need for improvement on others? It seems to defeat the purpose of really growing myself to subject others, even just in my mind, to the faults they possess. Granted, if I am to closely look at who I associate myself with on a more intimate level, I should choose people that further me and be slightly more discriminatory amongst the people I most closely associate myself with. Yet, even those people will have faults. The point is that we all have faults, and most people are aware of them. So, why do I try and fix others in my mind when really I should be focusing on myself? Perhaps because it is more difficult than being honest and looking at myself with open eyes.
Moreover, humility is about always looking forward honestly. Even when we are incredibly skilled at something, and others marvel at our talent, we must remain present. Simply focusing on how we got to this point, and looking at ways we can still improve. Of course, we enjoy the things we are skilled at, there is no shame in this. However, it is still necessary to improve. To be honest that we most likely didn’t end up here completely by ourselves, and that we cannot get to the highest places in life without others.
In order to fully embody a characteristic, we must pierce through the everyday definition we have been given, and attempt to find our own definition. Only through this repeated attempt at understanding it in the given context of our life, do we truly learn.
That being said, tomorrow, I begin to look at modesty.