Just as I thought I had broken through something, I fell again. Not horribly, and not in a way where I cannot get back up stronger than before. I simply didn’t embody the values as much as I wanted to.
Modesty and humility, and all of these characteristics require a high-level of consistent mindfulness. Without this, implementing changes becomes nigh impossible. The first level to change is noticing when something is actually happening. When I’m not being humble, I must first recognize that, at that moment hopefully. The same is with modesty. I have to actively be aware.
I guess I’ve been seeing my meditation practice as something that is almost separate from life. Even though my end goal is to have life be a sort of meditation. Somehow, for some reason, I thought that the practice ended after the 15 or 20 minutes of silence each day. Now I’m beginning to realize that this is not the case. The practice gives us a shot of awareness, to help us manage it for the rest of the day. It is there to remind me to be present always. If I can start implementing the awareness I bring to meditation in my life, I think a change will happen. This also serves to increase my meditation practice, as it gives me the motivation to do better and be more aware.
Well, this is all well and good, but what does it have to do with modesty?
It is how we become modest. Modesty is, after all, rather simple. Modesty means, as I’ve said, having a high quality of something at a low quantity. It is saying more with less. It is eating better with less. It is thinking better, with less. All of these things, it serves to increase quality and decrease quantity as a result.
Most importantly though, it is just being what you are, and no more or less.
Taking that, and aiming to be what I am, and learn more, I move towards growth.